How to stop screwing yourself over | Mel Robbins | TEDxSF

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  • 10/06/2011 को प्रकाशित
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    Mel Robbins is a married working mother of three, an ivy-educated criminal lawyer, and one of the top career and relationship experts in America. Widely respected for her grab-'em-by-the-collar advice and tough love, Robbins drills through the mental clutter that stands between people and what they want. Her approach is smart, effective and entertaining. Five days a week, Mel hosts her own syndicated radio show The Mel Robbins Show, discussing hot topics and giving advice to callers across America. She is starring in a new series, In-Laws, airing this summer on A&E. In addition, she writes a monthly column for Success Magazine, is a former CNBC contributor and is the co-founder of Advice for Living, Inc., which develops products and television programming with experts in the wellness, health, relationship and career categories.
    Most nights, once the kids are in bed, you'll find Mel at home with a bourbon on the rocks and her Australian Shepherd at her feet, writing about life, love and everything else on her award-winning blog: www.melrobbins.com
    event video by: repertoireproductions.com/

टिप्पणियाँ • 12 891

  • lodiSiB
    lodiSiB साल पहले +2400

    "when you turned 18, nobody tells you it's your job to parent yourself" god, this hit. It's so true and the change is so sudden, you'll just notice people around you stop caring as they did when you were a child.

    • firecarrier1
      firecarrier1 2 महीने पहले +1

      @Jamolly amen to that! 🙏😊

    • Jamolly
      Jamolly 2 महीने पहले

      @Sanvi Stark Sounds like mama's boy of the century! 😆 My grandma use to make my dad 2 dozen chocolate chip cookies every time he left for 2 weeks over the road trucking!

    • Jamolly
      Jamolly 2 महीने पहले +1

      I once felt this way too, but when I really let God in and accepted that He is my REAL Father and family then I was no longer alone - ever. 🙏

    • firecarrier1
      firecarrier1 3 महीने पहले

      @Sanvi Stark wow!!

    • Sanvi Stark
      Sanvi Stark 3 महीने पहले +1

      unless you are an Indian... my 80 year old grandmother still pampers her 60 year old son (my father) and feeds him with her own hands! :P

  • Mind Body Relaxation
    Mind Body Relaxation साल पहले +699

    To everyone who is experiencing a difficult situation:
    To shoot an arrow you have to pull it backwards. So when life drags you back with some troubles, it means it's going to launch into something better.

    • tiana
      tiana 20 दिन पहले

      i

    • Jen Haze
      Jen Haze महीने पहले +1

      I know it’s been a year since you commented this, but I just want to let you know that I’ve been really struggling lately trying to figure out my life again after beating cancer and losing my son to cancer. When he was re-diagnosed years ago, I got an arrow tattoo with his name on it to remind myself that even though this was a setback, to shoot an arrow you have to pull it backwards. Even though I have this tattoo on my arm, it seems I have forgotten its meaning. And you reminded me of that. I hope you see this, because I want you to know how much you helped a stranger on the Internet get through a really tough time in life.

    • Rey Becerra
      Rey Becerra 2 महीने पहले

      exactly what I needed to hear thank you.

    • CreativitySubs
      CreativitySubs 4 महीने पहले

      The last step of shooting an arrow is letting go.

    • nonono
      nonono 5 महीने पहले

      Ily

  • octobernone
    octobernone साल पहले +2343

    She's so energetic, I went back to bed to rest in behalf of her

    • Gulana Ismayilova
      Gulana Ismayilova 3 महीने पहले

      😂😂😂😂😂

    • Ahmed Musa
      Ahmed Musa 3 महीने पहले

      lmaoo, please

    • Paul Pantiru
      Paul Pantiru 3 महीने पहले

      😂😂😂😂😂

    • Carla Bazan-Pirotto
      Carla Bazan-Pirotto 4 महीने पहले

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • diet alarm clock
      diet alarm clock 4 महीने पहले

      Amen, thank this bundle of stress and pretend she said nothing, cause thats exactly what happened

  • Maria Runing
    Maria Runing 11 महीने पहले +255

    I can’t believe how much this video has helped me. I love how she’s without any mercy, she’s so blunt with everyone.
    I wish my parents were like this and that I was brought up with this mentality. But yet again, now it’s my own turn to make a difference in my everyday patterns and sort out inner voices from good ones and bad ones 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

    • Shukhada
      Shukhada महीने पहले

      @Neo (Reloaded) why are you commenting this here

    • Neo (Reloaded)
      Neo (Reloaded) महीने पहले

      yeah, but she should'nt have talked with those words. And she used a lot the word sxx, which is kind of disturbing.

    • Shukhada
      Shukhada 2 महीने पहले +1

      Yet so full of lofe

    • Lavender Bee
      Lavender Bee 3 महीने पहले

      She has a mid-west personality for sure, they have an internal toughness yet very outgoing and friendly.

    • Myrna Ramirez
      Myrna Ramirez 3 महीने पहले +2

      Maria Running, your parents probably wanted too, but maybe you positioned them to not let them. So don't wish your parents were like Mel. Children reject parents advice a very high percent of the time and just maybe you were one of those kids.

  • Jacky
    Jacky 2 साल पहले +4403

    1. You're never going to feel like changing. Stop waiting for a perfect time.
    2. You're never going to feel like it
    3. You are not fine
    4. Waking up earlier is a representation of the physical force required to change
    5. You have to do what you don't want to do, so you can be everything you're supposed to be
    6. YOU HAVE TO FORCE YOURSELF TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE

    • CreativitySubs
      CreativitySubs 4 महीने पहले

      To climb to the top of a mountain, means to walk the foot of the mountain a hundred times.

    • easytorememberuser
      easytorememberuser 5 महीने पहले

      Yup, this was about 21 minutes too long.

    • Karim Aflihaou
      Karim Aflihaou 5 महीने पहले

      Is it from this Talk or a Jordan Peterson Talk ?

    • floatoss
      floatoss 7 महीने पहले +2

      "I don't care how I feel, I only care about what I want"

    • Dominque Ferrari
      Dominque Ferrari 7 महीने पहले +2

      @Martin Russell How’s it going now? I’m currently working towards this type of mindset shift. It’s tough, but I’m trying.

  • Ryan Reed
    Ryan Reed साल पहले +42

    I think the part that hit me the most was the autopilot vs. emergency break. As soon as she explained it my brain immediately jumped to a dozen different occasions where I've reflected on my own decisions and came to the exact same conclusion: If I just do it, it happens, but if I waver for even a short period of time (5 seconds), I'm almost guaranteed not to try whatever it is.

  • Anya Jasmine XTRA
    Anya Jasmine XTRA साल पहले +206

    This is definitely one of the best talks I've heard. Referring to the emergency brake she spoke of, our minds detect discomfort when you hesitate to do something e.g. get out of bed in the morning. And when that hesitation is made, that's what triggers the brake. You can apply that to anything. If you just get up and don't think about it, there's no hesitation, therefore no trigger.

  • Life Mentor
    Life Mentor साल पहले +56

    Mel is so full of energy! She practises the 5 second rule so that the brakes don't kick in. Love it, Mel!

  • Wally De La Rosa Gomez
    Wally De La Rosa Gomez साल पहले +32

    Her message is powerful and exactly what one needs to hear when your life is out of bounds

    • GANOTAL
      GANOTAL महीने पहले

      *You are so right, I even downloaded it and some other tedtalk videos, converted them to Mp3 format and uploaded to my mobile phone. So I can listen whilst I am on the move*

  • FIKER. M
    FIKER. M साल पहले +2548

    she was so comfortable, she was talking to them as a friend. I've never seen a ted talk amazing like this.

    • Beats by Newton
      Beats by Newton 6 दिन पहले

      @Sarah Basto oy

    • Sarah Basto
      Sarah Basto 8 महीने पहले +3

      I personally don't like it. It feels a bit too much

    • People Health Truth
      People Health Truth 11 महीने पहले

      @Pop Whirl TV Then tell the lesson in the first 5 minutes and then the personal stories and fluff. Actually, videos over 7 minutes get many fewer views and earn LESS MONEY

    • Pop Whirl TV
      Pop Whirl TV 11 महीने पहले +1

      @People Health Truth Speakers wouldn't get paid if they only spoke for 5 minutes.

  • preethi k
    preethi k 10 महीने पहले +85

    I was in tears.... and it came from somewhere much deeper... NOT the throat... it was not sadness or happiness... it was CONNECTION to what she is saying ,,,, SO grateful for having heard this.

  • Rishabh Mehrotra
    Rishabh Mehrotra साल पहले +52

    I read the book The 5 second rule, the fun fact is i never knew i was put into a change that was a entire revolution into my life. Thank you Mel i'll always be grateful for what you gave me.♥️

  • MerciSNSD
    MerciSNSD 11 महीने पहले +12

    This is just an amazing speech. Every concepts that she introduced are so shocking to me, and I will try my best to implement those rules to change my tedious life.
    Thank you Mrs. Robbins!

  • Spam Doe
    Spam Doe 8 महीने पहले +9

    Thank you so much Mel Robbins for this incredible speech, it really was the fulcrum for breaking my procrastination habits. Thank you TED for the event that brought us this speech and for generously sharing it freely to INclips. Forever grateful. Don’t know where I’d be without it.

  • Allina Khan
    Allina Khan 2 साल पहले +303

    For the scared public speakers out there, notice how much she stutters, gets her words wrong and says "sorry, I mean" and yet STILL delivers an amazing powerful speech while still seeming reliable, engaging, smart, passionate, funny, etc. It doesn't matter if you mess up!

  • An B.
    An B. साल पहले +26

    I'm so proud of Mel, she's been just growing and helping us grow with her

  • Mariz Sarce
    Mariz Sarce 4 महीने पहले +2

    Thank you so much, Mel! This is exactly what I need to hear right now. Really stuck with my current reality which I don't want to face. Sometimes when we feel stuck, we just need to act. Thanks so much for this 5-second tip!

  • Nisa Zulkefli
    Nisa Zulkefli साल पहले +33

    I've been jogging at the same speed, same location. Yesterday, I counted, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... I jogged longer and brought my speed higher! Thank you, Mel Robbins. Writing this at 2021. Can't wait to apply this rules in other aspects of my life.

  • sid love
    sid love 7 महीने पहले +4

    To anyone who feels life is pathetic or it sucks.. just know you are doing your best and you are special no matter what the enemy brings to you.. do not allow fear doubt to mess up your life.. you are worth more than you believe or think

  • Boomshine
    Boomshine 7 साल पहले +3230

    The problem is, the school system actually destroys this part of the mind for many people. We're taught for years on end, to stop, think, analyze, ruminate... but it turns out we have intuition and gut impulses that can allow us to be spontaneous and confident in what we do... and not always see our failures in the form of an F or 40%. We're taught to work our butts off, then take long breaks. We're taught to follow a routine and do things that don't interest us for hours and hours to make some number. So when it's all done and we're in the real world, many of us simply don't know HOW to go about even framing our mind for this way of thinking. You're lucky if you had great parents, teachers or friends that fostered this part of you, and to people like this, it's easy. It's as simple as just doing it, and they don't understand why people procrastinate or have analysis paralysis.
    I used to be a very creative and spontaneous child, and by the end of high school I was just another robot. It has taken me years to even realize what happened to me, and now I'm a few years deep into trying to find my natural human side again.
    I know she has a small amount of time to get across a big topic, but for talks like this to be really effective IMO, they have to share a type of detox method with tangible things to do. Mindfulness meditation is so crucial for many of us. You can't be happy or operate in the "now" if you're constantly future tripping or thinking about your past. Again, the school system gears you to think of the future. Graduation will save you. Post-secondary will save you. Work will save you. Making tons of money will save you. Finding love will save you. Learn to live in the present, and learn to calm your mind so that the natural river of thought can flow without obstructions caused by everyday mundane tasks or negative thoughts. That's how you'll find out what you really want, and what to do to get it. Social media and pornography are killers. Bad diets, lack of exercise, and lack of PLAY are killers. Many people don't even realize how important it is to to PLAY. Play catch, play at a gym, play with friends. When we think of the road to accomplish something major, we think that ALL that time we'll have to be working and it's daunting. Because that's what it was like in school. But in reality, if you learn to work a bit, then play a bit, you can continue on the road to your goals with a freer mind.
    Anyway, I don't have all the answers, and I'm in the struggle myself. But I just thought I'd share with everyone some of the things I've come to learn. I see a lot of comments saying that it's easier said than done. And really, I agree. Very few speakers are tackling the tangible everyday things that are plaguing the mind needed to even be receptive to these types of speeches.

    • Bread Wagon
      Bread Wagon 2 महीने पहले

      I love what you wrote--thank you! I feel the same way. I discovered years ago through many tribulations and obstacles my way of getting back into myself and living my life my way and it is working, but will always be a work in progress.

    • Ybe Hail
      Ybe Hail 5 महीने पहले

      @Rosallie ValdiviaPlease lets join and do something different

    • Matqee
      Matqee 8 महीने पहले

      @Boomshine thus comment is gold! This sparked in my head last year and since then I have been trying to find my passion. Though I am in college but I don't really study since I discovered this, I have been putting most of my time on self development, growth and discovering life rather than always reading. Though all the people around me see me as unserious even though I am more than an "average" student.

    • Dayana Vega
      Dayana Vega साल पहले

      @Margarette Allyn That was beautiful, thank you Margarette. I’m at a point where I feel stuck- I graduate university with a B.S in Finance- yet, feel that I should not go down the route of a High paying job immediately after university- yet, explore my passions - invest in my financial, spiritual guidance and take it from there. It’s hard to think this way because so many of us are conditioned to go to university- and then get a job… After hearing Rich Dad Poor Dad’s audiobook, I can’t unsee the torture of working full time for someone else’s goals… it doesn’t make sense.. but everyone does it because they need to make a living… I want to create a community that inspires others and where transparency is shine to light and individuals take a risk to be and go beyond themselves. Beyond the typical system.. I know I have choices- and I feel as though the best decision is to sacrifice the high paycheck for a time of self discovery and exploration and working part time at an organization. But not full time.

    • Claudia
      Claudia साल पहले

      @Rosallie Valdivia I’d like to join you too! Let me know if you’re having a group chat somewhere!

  • Gamachu Dabala
    Gamachu Dabala 2 महीने पहले +1

    She felt at home however the audience gets uncomfortable with her actions. I have learnt a thing from it. You don't have to care what others think of your actions as long as you believe in what you are doing. She was truly remarkable.

  • Claudia Rebeca Jiménez Pérez
    Claudia Rebeca Jiménez Pérez 9 महीने पहले +3

    Inspiring, love it! And so true... sometimes, we need to force ourselves, is not going to happen because X reason, is going to happen because I want it and I'm going to push myself every day until I get it, and then, I'm going to keep finding something else, brilliant talk.

  • Klára Jakab
    Klára Jakab साल पहले +6

    This is gold! Some parts hit me so hard. I'm in a journey of finding my true self, and I really needed to hear this. Thank you!

  • jaalen g
    jaalen g साल पहले +2

    Most authentic person ive ever listen to on a ted talk. She is really on to something with that 5 second rule it forces you to stop being so boring and forget about being jugded.

  • Z B
    Z B 3 साल पहले +1281

    I am visiting this video again. The first time I watched it I was depressed in my old job. I felt burnout, super stagnant. I have always wanted to change to a new job, but did not have enough courage to do so because I feared instability. And one day I saw this, and I practiced the 5 second rule. I am today in my new job, with better pay, better environment. GLAD I FOUND THIS TEDTALK.

    • Miriam Hedges
      Miriam Hedges 6 महीने पहले

      I am so happy for you. I’m sharing video alsp

    • ez walking
      ez walking 2 साल पहले +3

      Lolo Lulu congrats on making that change. You deserve it.

    • Mai
      Mai 2 साल पहले +7

      Ignore Kris because you already master a rule that can help yourself and to look for new jobs. I'm struggling with the same feeling you experienced in your old job and this helps motivate me. Thanks for sharing your story with us.

    • Z B
      Z B 2 साल पहले +2

      Nubsify just watch this amazing Ted Talk till the end, you’ll find out! 😊

    • Z B
      Z B 2 साल पहले +4

      Aaron Jones thank you Aaron 😊. I’m now with a company that manages talent growth in my country.

  • long legs
    long legs 3 महीने पहले +2

    "you have life changing ideas for a reason and its not to torture yourself" I think every artist / creative person needs to hear this

  • Aurora_Boketto
    Aurora_Boketto साल पहले +18

    "When you listen to how you *feel* about what you want you will not get it because you will never *feel* like it." That's honestly super helpful

  • Jassie Liu
    Jassie Liu 10 महीने पहले +5

    Mel Robbins is so inspirational. Like she have this MYSTERIOUS way of making me want to do things! I listened to her 2 years ago and now I’m here again :)

  • Buddy King
    Buddy King 7 महीने पहले

    Mel shares the best real life information/lessons ever. She is straight forward and direct without the sugar coating while being a class act.
    I know that spending a week or more with Mel would be a life changing event that when implementing her advice, would lead to living a happy and successful life.

  • Kasey Brown
    Kasey Brown 6 साल पहले +635

    Having worked in both mental health and philosophy for a while now, there's a lot with this video that's right, and a few things that make me wonder.
    -- She's absolutely right that people often do tell themselves they're doing fine when living an unexamined life. Kierkegaard wrote extensively on this; people often do whatever societal messages tell them they ought to do, then reach a point of dread when they start to wonder if they've really lead the life they wanted all this while. It's not true for everyone of course.
    -- On the other hand, it's important to discern what you have control over, and what you don't. Some of her examples are things a person may genuinely need to find peace with (and thus, just be "fine"). Mother's never going to change? It's not your job to change other people to fit your liking, so for this, you do need to be fine. Your kids might really be harmed by a divorce depending on the situation, so it might actually be best to stay married and sleep in different beds. If you lost your job and can barely pay your bills, it might actually be hard to get another job. Straining and struggling against these things under the impression that if you just struggle hard enough, you can change them, is only going to lead to greater suffering. "Have strength to change the things you can, grace to accept the things you cannot, and wisdom to know the difference."
    -- Calculating the odds of you being alive sounds inspirational, but there's no causative relationship between odds and the state of being. Odds are calculated after the fact. If I flip a coin, we could talk about the odds of it being 50/50 on heads or tails, or the odds that I would, on this day, be standing there, flipping that particular coin, after all the world events throughout human history have transpired, bringing us to these astronomical numbers that may make us feel like we're almost the center of the universe. We don't then consider that literally every mundane thought and act can also fit those same odds. But if this makes you feel inspired, then go for it.
    -- What it takes to inspire change, and the science behind why people procrastinate, is more complex than it's being made to sound here. What works for one person might not work for another. It's simply flawed to say "you're never going to feel like it". For some people, sleeping on a decision, or waiting a week, is really all it takes, and then they definitely feel like it (I'm one such person). For others they may need a commitment device, which is a sort of cue that people create for themselves to change or initiate a behavior (like putting a quarter into a jar each time you use profanity). For others, a simple act of initial determination, such as the speaker describes - getting up 30 minutes earlier and waking up immediately one single day - may be enough. Most people will, after that one day, fall back into the same routine, if other changes and commitment devices aren't set up as part of a holistic structural change.
    -- Building on the above point: "Do you think anyone who needs to go on a diet ever feels like it??"

    • naomi obi
      naomi obi महीने पहले

      disagree on the divorce part. Parents don’t realize it, but kids always know when there’s tension between them and staying in an unhappy marriage affects them negatively way more than a divorce would.

    • MyNameHere
      MyNameHere 2 महीने पहले

      @Voxfugit she said IF you want to talk to someone… it wasn’t a command.
      Listening is key.

    • pixxa37
      pixxa37 2 महीने पहले

      I am glad I'm not the only one who has doubts about this speech. And what about sending ourselves a message every time we have an idea or an impulse? We would be inundated with those.

    • Voxfugit
      Voxfugit 5 साल पहले

      Sophie Nussle appreciate the additional insight you are giving. If that is indeed what she was trying to communicate, I have a few suggestions on how she could have revamped her talk and eliminated (maybe) some of the controversy in these comments. As a trick to pursue actions towards goals you have already set for yourself, it is perfectly legitimate. However she closed her talk with a call to action that involve$ an impulsive decision, going over to introduce yourself to someone, without any indication that meeting others or overcoming shyness or somesuch is a goal you have previously set.

    • Voxfugit
      Voxfugit 5 साल पहले +2

      Kasey Brown Can we make your comment required reading for everyone watching this video? Excellent content. And, without saying anything about mental illness, your comments cogently address my concerns about this talk for those who do. Very well done.

  • Ysobel Bennett
    Ysobel Bennett 17 दिन पहले

    This is definitely one of the best talks I've heard. Referring to the emergency brake she spoke of, our minds detect discomfort when you hesitate to do something e.g. get out of bed in the morning. And when that hesitation is made, that's what triggers the brake. You can apply that to anything.

  • klima1237
    klima1237 साल पहले +14

    You are never going to feel like it.
    You have to push yourself - and remember the 5 second rule so you don’t get stuck in the inner snooze 💪🏻

  • C A
    C A 8 महीने पहले +7

    Bro she’s hilarious I loved this. Genuinely learned a lot of hope to put her words into practice. Definitely a captivating speaker

  • EonRyan
    EonRyan महीने पहले +1

    5:05 - fine
    6:16 - convinced yourself you’re fine without the things you want
    8:59 - inner snooze button analogy
    9:58 - in any area you want to change, this is the fact

  • Health Explained
    Health Explained 9 महीने पहले +6

    21:40 You know you’re a great public speaker when the audience gets energised just by listening to you.

  • Cassie Nadeau
    Cassie Nadeau साल पहले +34

    I love the way she speaks. She really sounds like she's talking to everyone as an individual. Amazing.

  • oussama mansouri
    oussama mansouri 3 महीने पहले +2

    I got your book ❤️ thank you very much.. I’m 19 years old and i really needed this right now, because i feel like I’m screwing it. Thanks a lot Mel Robin

  • HER
    HER साल पहले +29

    I love this speaker I’m giggling and learning while getting ready for my miserable job. I feel motivated though😊

    • FreeSpirit
      FreeSpirit साल पहले

      @HER I used to work in a deli at a grocery store and was embarrassed about my job now years later since I've quit I wished I still worked there. I feel so isolated at my new job. Now I try to be grateful for where I am at life.

    • HER
      HER साल पहले +2

      @Hope and faith I just work as a cashier in a grocery store but I am indeed glad it’s something. I hope an opportunity comes your way!

    • Hope and faith
      Hope and faith साल पहले +4

      Trust me better than no job at all😢

  • Charlie Davy
    Charlie Davy साल पहले +781

    I’m 80 , have Alzheimer’s, this lady has just blown my mind with this presentation .Thanks Mel , I love you .

    • Rafael
      Rafael 2 महीने पहले

      @Loshini Shankar a estupidez não possui limites...

    • Loshini Shankar
      Loshini Shankar 2 महीने पहले +4

      @the book is my phone BRO. I HAVE NO WORDS.

    • the book is my phone
      the book is my phone 8 महीने पहले +23

      i hope u forget this watch it again and i get to see the same comment posted again

    • Fatimazz
      Fatimazz साल पहले +5

      My wishes.

    • Alfredo Sanchez
      Alfredo Sanchez साल पहले +19

      We love you best wishes

  • Pra Onde Eu Voo
    Pra Onde Eu Voo महीने पहले +1

    This was one of the most helpful Ted talks I've ever watched

  • DS 1969
    DS 1969 साल पहले +3

    I met my wife almost 32 years ago by not pulling the emergency break and reaching out to someone. However occasionally in my life I agree we pull the emergency break, and it is key to get beyond that and learn to live in the uncomfortable zone of life.

  • hucklesnook
    hucklesnook 6 महीने पहले +5

    She is an amazing speaker, I love when she said "I'm counting on you, you got stuff to do!"

  • Mar
    Mar 6 महीने पहले +5

    Felt like she was talking to me personally. This is amazing i’m gonna keep trying until i get there 🙌🏻

  • Jo Butalon
    Jo Butalon 2 साल पहले +2510

    She’s the kind of person i want to have as a friend when I’m feeling down. So straightforward.

    • Jo Butalon
      Jo Butalon साल पहले

      @BetterCallin stop giving unsolicited opinion as if you know everything. That’s fake.

    • Jo Butalon
      Jo Butalon साल पहले

      @Fairy and @April we can try to be as self compassionate as we can but sometimes all we need is another set of ears to hear our troubles and someone else’s wisdom to enlighten us, especially if there are situations that are new to us.

    • Siddharth Khodke
      Siddharth Khodke साल पहले

      I just heard a quote 'Be the person that you want in your life'

    • Rebel Raccoon
      Rebel Raccoon साल पहले

      @hyorlo jorgson To you, but to the rest of us value a straightforward friend.

    • BetterCallin
      BetterCallin साल पहले +1

      Stop having friends for specific places in your life. That’s fake

  • Mohd Harish
    Mohd Harish 4 महीने पहले +3

    This ted talk is too much for writers to describe what a masterpiece this video is.

  • Alcohol Free
    Alcohol Free 2 महीने पहले +2

    The “Just Do It” message combined with becoming responsible for your life is well presented. I call the force that keeps me stuck “Inertia”. Enjoyed

    • MyNameHere
      MyNameHere 2 महीने पहले

      Everyone calls it that. That’s what inertia is.

  • Krushal Dobariya
    Krushal Dobariya 10 महीने पहले +1

    Thank you so much Mel Robbins! 🙏🏻 You spoke with such high energy that it rejuvenated me!!!✨ You saved my day! 🙏🏻

  • Missy
    Missy 7 महीने पहले +3

    I pressed the like button when she said..”I’m sure you convinced yourself that the thing you want you’re fine not having it”..that’s soooo true

  • Declan Kearns
    Declan Kearns साल पहले +1634

    'Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever could'...

    • Becky Webb
      Becky Webb 2 महीने पहले +1

      I’m saving this! Thank you, Declan!

    • Zafreen Bari
      Zafreen Bari 3 महीने पहले +3

      Failure gives proof that we at least tried to take action. Doubt kills the chance of taking the action.

    • Cyan Role
      Cyan Role 4 महीने पहले

      @LeSousse start having fun

    • Cyan Role
      Cyan Role 4 महीने पहले +1

      @Abhigna Vijjapurapu you're not lazy, just uninspired.

    • James Mcgarry
      James Mcgarry 4 महीने पहले +2

      @Ace ,
      You can !
      Be patient and never beat yourself up.
      Be kind to yourself.
      🙏🙏🙏✌️

  • pinkjenStewart
    pinkjenStewart 11 महीने पहले +9

    "We continue to remind our children how great they are.. . And then we have forget to remind ourselves! "
    I freaking love you !!!!! I watch everything you have been on. God bless you.

  • Steve Ande
    Steve Ande साल पहले +5

    The part where she asks for a standing ovation and it was perfect for the presentation makes this one of the best of all time.

  • Amanda Cavallaro
    Amanda Cavallaro साल पहले +2

    Mel Robbins is such an outstanding and engaging speaker. I loved every second of this video. Thank you for sharing.

  • Ary Rios
    Ary Rios साल पहले +2

    She was amazing, and so right. Even when I force myself to do those things that I know I want to do (but are easier not to do), I feel better.

  • Aanchal Sharma
    Aanchal Sharma साल पहले +67

    Now thats the real art of public speaking❤️

  • Mervenur Balaban
    Mervenur Balaban 5 महीने पहले

    Such a meaningful and realistic talk. Makes a big difference in your style of thinking after you watch it.💫💐🥳

  • Fernando Verdugo
    Fernando Verdugo 10 महीने पहले +11

    I feel like this one TED talk of all of those I've watched regarding the same subjects is causing a positive change in me. I'm watching it again. Cheers

  • GODHIMSELF
    GODHIMSELF महीने पहले +3

    What do you want? GET IT!!
    Love this still to this day!! Timeless value

  • Brandon Pipkin
    Brandon Pipkin 4 साल पहले +419

    This is how a professional presents. She was focused on her audience, a thought I had well before she mentioned that everything she does is for you. Most presenters are so focused on their material or themselves they fail to remember they are presenting to people. Audiences can connect with Mel because she's real, wasn't trying to be the perfect presenter, and spoke in plain language.

    • dark
      dark 3 साल पहले +3

      @Michael M. Ross i suppose it's her usual image, as u could notice she feels a quite confidently

    • Michael M. Ross
      Michael M. Ross 3 साल पहले +5

      But she needs wardrobe counseling

  • Karthigah_CareerGuru
    Karthigah_CareerGuru 8 महीने पहले +1

    Everything she said was right. Until you give yourself what it needs, you will be always wondering what I can't be the one that I want? Why the people around me are better? Everything starts with you. Nourish yourself.

  • Erecha Tatum
    Erecha Tatum साल पहले +3

    This was an awesome and emotional experience watching this and I am thankful for it!!!!!

  • ולריה זולוטורבסקי
    ולריה זולוטורבסקי साल पहले +1

    You’re amazing!! The most honest and helpful ted talk I’ve seen! Thanks changed my life

  • Annie Stacie
    Annie Stacie 2 महीने पहले

    So funny, engaging, profound... I love this talk.

  • Abhishek Singhal
    Abhishek Singhal 2 साल पहले +2724

    "You'll never hang out with the person who talks to you like you talk to yourself" hit read hard

    • V Tymes
      V Tymes साल पहले

      Great quote

    • Daniel Moore
      Daniel Moore साल पहले +5

      WAKE UP ALL OF YOU!
      This world is deluded! Do you fear the unknown? No, you cannot fear something you don't know, you can fear letting go of what you know!
      Awareness is the way to freedom and life. Pay attention and observe the present moment, how can you enjoy the moment if you're not in the moment?
      Drop your illusions, opinions, concepts, prejudges, labels, expectations, drop them all and wake up.
      Happiness lyes within you, you don't need to be rich, you don't need to be successful, you don't need friends, you don't need anything to be happy because a human being's natural state is happiness.
      Look back to when you were three years old, where was your happiness coming from?
      Friends? A career? Success? Money? Power? No.
      Your happiness is within YOU. Wake up out of the condition you were put in.
      Again, your happiness is within YOU.

    • Samantha Rodriguez
      Samantha Rodriguez साल पहले +18

      1. You're never going to feel like changing. Stop waiting for a perfect time.
      2. You're never going to feel like it
      3. You are not fine
      4. Waking up earlier is a representation of the physical force required to change
      5. You have to do what you don't want to do, so you can be everything you're supposed to be
      6. YOU HAVE TO FORCE YOURSELF TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE

    • Gabriel Mahan
      Gabriel Mahan 2 साल पहले

      sarang kim wow

    • Gabriel Mahan
      Gabriel Mahan 2 साल पहले

      sarang kim is the time of pPqP p

  • Denise Tate
    Denise Tate 3 महीने पहले +1

    Wow this was such an awesome slap in my face. Everything that you said is very factual. I’m definitely guilty of doing this. I start I stop.

  • Romi Agua
    Romi Agua 11 महीने पहले

    Você foi ótima em suas colocações e exemplos 👍. Porém não se esqueça de que pessoas são indivíduos e pôr isso fazem escolhas de não serem aquele exemplo de produtividade que tanto se quer deles 👍

  • Hatedxsoul
    Hatedxsoul 11 महीने पहले +3

    I feel like I’ve only existed in my head my entire life… this was a great Ted talk

  • Naimish Chavda
    Naimish Chavda 2 महीने पहले +1

    This is the best video on TEDx Talks! She just doesn't talk, but she makes it fun and interesting. Not many people can do that.

  • Liam C
    Liam C 3 साल पहले +4979

    Short version: You're never going to feel like changing. Stop waiting for a perfect time.

    • Infamous
      Infamous 2 महीने पहले

      Not enough! The FIVE SECOND RULE.
      !!

    • Dil Jaan
      Dil Jaan 2 साल पहले

      Äö

    • Dil Jaan
      Dil Jaan 2 साल पहले

      Ä

    • Dil Jaan
      Dil Jaan 2 साल पहले

      Global Purchasing Compani

  • Assia Kitani
    Assia Kitani 7 महीने पहले +1

    Mel Robbins spoke with great comfort that made the listeners not feel bored and was able to communicate her idea to them.

  • Patricia Innocenti
    Patricia Innocenti साल पहले +4

    Love you Mel!!!!! I’ve seen so many great videos about the researchs you discloses!! Thank you so much!! I’m very grateful!!! 🙏 ✨💛

  • Sahar Sardari
    Sahar Sardari साल पहले +1

    Such an incredible woman! Just watching Mel Robbins give you energy and motivates to 5 4 3 2 1 GO! Just do it! Love You Mell❤

  • Pranvera Lani
    Pranvera Lani साल पहले

    You are one of the best and more inspiring people in the world. By your example we feel better and happier as persons, as parents...WE feel lucky and grateful to know a person like you. God bless you and your loved ones ! Thank you

  • itschristyler
    itschristyler 2 साल पहले +1370

    This woman was born to public speak, Best TED talk I've seen in a while, I was engaged the entire time!!!

    • Le Bui
      Le Bui 2 साल पहले

      @dreamervanroom y

    • Suzanne J
      Suzanne J 2 साल पहले

      I thought she was screechie, nasal and brash. Different cultures i suspect.

    • Dan Penia
      Dan Penia 2 साल पहले

      It's practice, she is great because she works very hard

    • Anastasija Andrejeva
      Anastasija Andrejeva 2 साल पहले

      yes, she's impressive, but her speaking manner consumes my energy even through the screen and thank God I'm not in face-to-face situation

    • Carol George
      Carol George 2 साल पहले

      It’s her nature to want people to allow their energy .Not for her but themselves . Awesome woman

  • Taylor Manfredi
    Taylor Manfredi 11 महीने पहले +58

    "You have life-changing ideas for a reason, and it's not to torture yourself."

    • YoutubeHome
      YoutubeHome 11 महीने पहले

      Yes, therapy said to stop going around toxic pple that celebrate bootstrap approach is hurtful, hindering, invalidating, I wish Americans had a open discussion about accepting when people can't go on in pain, dsyrelgation, shared experiences don't mean I can make it. I send my ideas out to the world to prevent them from turning out like me. A failure to thrive diagnosis but youtube doesn't leave pple stuck.
      No support system makes food, shelter and meds a constant struggle. Self parenting is a journey after some missed education to missed cues.

  • Strix
    Strix साल पहले +4

    17:33 life changing sentence: "If you listen to how you feel, when it comes to what you want, you will not get it, because you will never feel like it!"

    • Eric Loyd
      Eric Loyd साल पहले +1

      Gotta go get it...

  • diana stella quijano llanos
    diana stella quijano llanos साल पहले

    Espectacular esta conferencia , la franqueza es la mejor herramienta que puedes usar MELL ROBINS

  • Graphologist Shantanu Sant
    Graphologist Shantanu Sant 8 महीने पहले +2

    She talks in amazing way
    Super energy
    She can really help transform
    I got this at the right time

  • Bethany Saxton
    Bethany Saxton 3 साल पहले +393

    Such an awesome talk.
    In a nutshell:
    Action leads to motivation - not the other way around.
    And, feelings are signals that a basic need is not being met. Don’t sit in complacency with these feelings - investigate them and take action to improve your situation and to work towards your goals and desires.

    • heartquaked
      heartquaked 2 साल पहले

      Bethany Saxton fantastic take away

    • CGDavis
      CGDavis 2 साल पहले

      @cautare pvp you'll never feel like it. You just force yourself. At least that's what she says.

    • cautare pvp
      cautare pvp 2 साल पहले +1

      so if i am not motivated to start how i first take action at all?
      Contradictory

    • Василий Орехово-Зуевский
      Василий Орехово-Зуевский 2 साल पहले

      @It's Possible Online Oh, yes.

    • American Citizen
      American Citizen 3 साल पहले +4

      Yes, there is some truth to that. Like that Seinfeld episode where George does the exact OPPOSITE of what he normally does...

  • Yakov Pyatnitskov
    Yakov Pyatnitskov 10 महीने पहले +13

    "Your problem isn't ideas, your problem is that you don't act on them. You kill them. It's not my fault."

  • nazoū
    nazoū 7 महीने पहले +4

    Best Ted talk I've heard. She's so cool, got me stuck from beginning to end

  • Drequan Tucker
    Drequan Tucker महीने पहले

    Love this my counselor told me to watch this bc I saw a 20 second tic tok on you and people like you were meant to wake us up! 💯percent inspired

  • Demis Farrugia
    Demis Farrugia 7 महीने पहले +1

    One of the best Presentations I’ve ever listened to! Thanks Mel! 😃

  • hexclub
    hexclub 3 साल पहले +1876

    "I don't care how you feel. I care about what you want. And if you listen to how you feel when it comes to what you want, you will not get it. Because you will never feel like it."

    • Britt Hill
      Britt Hill 3 साल पहले

      @keri caye
      What to do when you're fresh out of ideas and all you've got left is some kind of strange determination and this tiresome ability to endure...
      (no peace💘)

    • bobbg
      bobbg 3 साल पहले

      Didn't matter because I don't care!

    • bobbg
      bobbg 3 साल पहले

      I don't care how you fell I feel! Now how's that make your feel?

    • Britt Hill
      Britt Hill 3 साल पहले +3

      @Yaye Sidibe
      Sure. But i feel much worse when having what i DONT want. It's simpler for me to work on one thing at a time. And right now i realize there seems to be alot of what i dont want around. I gotta get rid of some of it and figure out how to keep those things out of my space - in my head and in my life. Then i will have room when the things i DO want come around...that's my plan anyway. Ciao🙃
      (no peace💘)

    • Pop Wow
      Pop Wow 3 साल पहले

      me to like

  • Laura Bartoletti
    Laura Bartoletti 2 महीने पहले

    Totally excellent motivation MEL !! Thank You!! ⚛ 🖖

  • 55_18_GALIH HAIDAR
    55_18_GALIH HAIDAR 6 महीने पहले

    That's very insightful! She's so energic!. The main idea of this amazing video is:
    1. If you felt stuck, you have to explore yourself (JUST DO IT)
    2. 5 Second Rule, is the key to start exploring yourself
    3. Do it, and you will be shock by what happens in the next situation
    .
    You know this is very relatable for me because I really struggling to expand networking. Especially to date with woman that I want. So, this video makes me feel more energic and blows my mind to do what I want!

  • 최민준
    최민준 11 महीने पहले

    'One in 400,000,000,000 and you're not doing anything' hit me HARD! It's so true! What she said about the 5 second rule is also true. I learned that I need to travel sometime soon (not only think about it, but plan it and act on it)!!

  • Raj Gupta
    Raj Gupta 4 महीने पहले +1

    I can't take my eyes off from the video. It's so great and helpful. Thanks TEDEX ❤️

  • Hannah Bui
    Hannah Bui साल पहले +108

    I’ve watched this so many times it never gets old. So inspiring and straightforward, and it’s easy to forget, so I just watch this every once in a while to remember. Everything Mel said is so true

    • GANOTAL
      GANOTAL महीने पहले

      *You are so right, I even downloaded it and some other tedtalk videos, converted them to Mp3 format and uploaded to my mobile phone. So I can listen whilst I am on the move*

  • Amber Little
    Amber Little 11 महीने पहले +2

    Oh, man, this is powerful to me. I want to share this (I already did) and help lots of others

  • paul merrells
    paul merrells साल पहले +1

    Mel is so honest, fantastic speaker

  • Aurora
    Aurora साल पहले +1

    She was great!
    It is simple we just have to do it and stop overthinking.

  • It's Good for The Soul
    It's Good for The Soul 4 महीने पहले

    Wow I needed this!!! Actually made me cry when she said to get out of your head, I would never be friends with someone who talked to me the way I talk to myself. Any little wisp if an idea of how I can better me....to stop the cycle I am in (especially the snooze dang button) It's time to do it!

  • Tim Pickering
    Tim Pickering 5 साल पहले +561

    What a fantastic speaker! I'm inspired. Not just by the content, but the delivery.

    • M Munroe
      M Munroe 4 साल पहले +1

      This is one of the most boring Teds I have yet come across!

    • Rasha Essam
      Rasha Essam 4 साल पहले

      Me too

    • Mike I
      Mike I 4 साल पहले

      there was no content...

    • Dub Siren
      Dub Siren 5 साल पहले +2

      my thoughts too !

  • Artzy_Daydreamer27
    Artzy_Daydreamer27 साल पहले

    I'm gonna watch this every day to cement this. Such wisdom!

  • sunil vijayan
    sunil vijayan 2 महीने पहले

    absolutely great presentation....which will force you for action from your thoughts

  • Sunshine 🌿
    Sunshine 🌿 साल पहले +1

    *You're not fine, you're fantastic. You have life changing ideas for a reason, and it's not to torture yourself*

  • Christine Wagner
    Christine Wagner साल पहले

    Outrageously good for such a short amount of time. This Tedx Talk is genius.

  • Rachel M
    Rachel M 11 महीने पहले +4

    This is a life changing speech for me- thank you

  • Najm Jawad
    Najm Jawad साल पहले +1

    The most amazing and life changing talk ever.
    Thanks for the talk

  • Your Mom
    Your Mom साल पहले +1

    Everyone would be institutionalized if we knew the thoughts inside our heads