The person you really need to marry | Tracy McMillan | TEDxOlympicBlvdWomen

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  • 6/02/2014 को प्रकाशित
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    Tracy McMillan is a television writer (Mad Men, United States of Tara) and relationship author who wrote the book Why You're Not Married...Yet, based on her viral 2011 Huffington Post blog. She also appeared as a dating coach on the NBC reality show Ready For Love. She lives in Los Angeles and is the mother of a 16-year-old guy.
    In her TEDxOlympicBlvdWomen talk, McMillan answers the question: "Who is the one person you need to marry in order to have a successful relationship? (Yourself)"
    About TEDx, x = independently organized event
    In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

टिप्पणियाँ • 12 808

  • Alice Geoffroy
    Alice Geoffroy 2 साल पहले +4

    "While dating someone, don't focus on whether or not the other person likes you; but how that person makes you feel": So true, so powerful!

  • Emmezali
    Emmezali 2 साल पहले +892

    "I'm a person I can count on" That one hit home for me. I felt that.

  • DJ
    DJ साल पहले +486

    I've spent a large part of my life crying and wishing someone would love me the way I love them. It never occurred to me, to love me the way I love them. WOW!!

  • Andreea
    Andreea 2 साल पहले +4

    My mother once told me: When you hold a man's hand and he makes your heart beat faster and he makes you feel giddy, walk away from this man. He is not the man for you. If you hold a man's hand and he makes you feel warm, safe and secure, hold onto him.

  • Pedro Amaral
    Pedro Amaral साल पहले +1

    She spoke good things about her ex husbands.. My last girlfriend told me one day "I always admired the way you talked about your exes"... Such an amazing girl, miss her so much..

  • Biber Maniac
    Biber Maniac 2 साल पहले +373

    Coming from a stable home with loving parents, my heart always sinks when I hear of the kind of childhood she had to endure. No consistency whatsoever. It`s no wonder it has taken half her life to figure out who and what she is. I am also always amazed at people like her who somehow come out on top and are decent people despite the turbulence of their early years where i may not blame them for being angry at the world for the bleak circumstances of a childhood. My wife grew up under a father with borderline personality disorder. When dating her and having learned that, I considered ending the relationship fearing disharmony later on because of that negative influence. I then realized after a spell she was an individual, believed in rational self interest (which she herself promotes), and lived both within and outside of her father`s life and, therefore, was her own being altogether, separate from her father. I am so glad I stayed because my wife is the most stable, wonderful, intelligent, complete woman!

  • Dana Williams
    Dana Williams 2 साल पहले +2

    My aha moment... “Life doesn’t give you what you ask for. It gives you what you need to develop to get what you asked for.”

  • Hannah Hendrickson
    Hannah Hendrickson 2 साल पहले +149

    God when you said, “And I’ll never leave you.” I started crying. That was powerful. Really beautiful! Thank you for your story!

  • Pash
    Pash 2 साल पहले +539

    I married myself long ago, during a very challenging relationship. I even bought the ring. I promised myself no matter what, I would love, respect, cherish, even adore this person. Me. Made alot of sense at the time. I married for the first time at age 64 and I really don't think divorce will ever be in the cards for me, us.

  • Takara Sights
    Takara Sights 2 साल पहले +47

    Great message. “Life doesn’t give you what you asked for life gives you the people places and situations to develop what you asked for." and I totally understand her talking about "a sense of lack." You have to learn to be satisfied with who you are and what you have while still striving to grow and be the best you can be.

  • Jennifer Cabrera
    Jennifer Cabrera साल पहले +382

    Marry yourself "for richer or poorer"

  • Intentional Living
    Intentional Living 2 साल पहले +158

    This woman is all i strive to be. Her self love, the way she carries herself, just wow. Im very thankful for this talk

  • salinastraightedge
    salinastraightedge 3 साल पहले +3

    "Love yourself the way you want someone else to love you."

  • Marika Hess-Marcuzzi
    Marika Hess-Marcuzzi 2 साल पहले +118

    Tracy, my tears rolled down my cheeks when intense emotions came up at the end and you almost cried because I understand so much the happiness you felt. Happiness after despair... Happiness to have built a bridge and a bond within yourself with yourself. Such a relief. You're beautiful Tracy and sooo charming and graceful. You really moved me. I wish you all the happiness in the world!

  • Get Your Life
    Get Your Life साल पहले +57

    this is the most sensible relationship advice that one can ever receive because love starts with self and she identified the gist of the failed relationships and took accountability for them..... I was in tears at the end because of her transparency, humility, beauty and because she was me - I need to totally love and marry me first...

  • Rebecca Norman
    Rebecca Norman 2 साल पहले +29

    On my gosh that was so awesome. I have been married and divorced three times and I am finally loving myself. Being alone during COVID-19 has been challenging but I have totally enjoyed this time to myself. I gave up alcohol and starting eating clean and even bought a treadmill. I now am 25 pounds healthier and really loving life. I loved your talk and was crying at the end because I feel the same way ❤️❤️❤️

  • Rebecca
    Rebecca साल पहले +30

    She is such a pleasant and likeable person. It is wonderful, with what she has been through, that her self acceptance and love seem evident to me in just her calm, pleasant and kind voice.

  • Ms. Mermaid🦋
    Ms. Mermaid🦋 साल पहले +5

    Despite so difficult childhood she does not keep grudges against her parents and is so positive, cheerful and positive. I like the way she speaks about herself and her mistakes. She seems to be a really strong person.

  • Beithir Sapphire
    Beithir Sapphire 2 साल पहले +1

    She has gone through a lot in her life .. and having that smile and giggle throughout the talk and to talk about her life on the stage and motivating other people with her words takes a lot of courage. She is a beautiful and strong women. Love You.

  • allizan
    allizan 2 साल पहले +4

    Whenever I’m feeling down about myself or stuck in a bad circle of doubt or anger, I watch this wonderful lady. And just by hearing her soothing voice and watching her kind face and listening to her important words I feel like I can be proud of myself again.